In Your Language

Sunday, May 18, 2014

You didn't deserve it

Consolation, 1894 - Edvard Munch
It didn't happen because you're a horrible person. It didn't happen because you had it coming. It didn't happen because you didn't tell them you loved them.

  • It happened because we live in a broken world.

  • It happened because God said that in life, we will have trouble.

  • It happened because others, outside of us, are born sinners.

  • It happened because we have equal ability to be vessels of good and evil. (Supernatural, tv show, reference, wink)

{To Your Inner Child}

If you were abandoned; if your parents divorced; if someone hit you...
You didn't deserve it. I promise. The full truth.

{To the Hurt Adult}  

 I am not a special person. I don't know you, specifically. I don't have the same experiences as you. Some of you had more horrendous lives than moi, others have had it easier than moi. But please know that you didn't deserve it

The fallacy of deserving and fault is a self centered trap. Even if you made him mad. He has to deal with his anger. It doesn't necessarily follow that you were conceding to being abused. Just because you, being a child, thought you were making your parents fight, doesn't mean that you are the origin or the reason for the fight. 

Many things happen outside of our influence. We still have influence, but free will dictates that there is a choice. We all can agree that there is free will, can't we? 

{My Consolation to You}

You're never too attractive to excuse sexual assault. You're never too rich to excuse theft. You're never too poor to excuse denigration. "Because" has no CAUSE in what happened to you. There was free will and that other person was at liberty to choose either, or of many, decision(s). Our hopes and dreams lie in the future. Think to your brighter future. =)

I hope that we can become a society that thinks:

  • I was angry and still, I didn't blow up
  • I was poor and still, I didn't or steal
  • I was greedy and still, I didn't cheat
  • I was powerful and still, I didn't abuse my power
  • I was abused and still, I didn't abuse

Today, I might be talking to your inner child or the adult going through the hell of ongoing trials. Know that outside of being in a fallen world, outside of the normal bouts of misfortune and conflict, you do not deserve this pain any more than you deserve to win the lottery. 


I pray that you find the right thoughts and the right behaviors that lead you out of your purgatory. Although Heaven is for the deceased, we can live in a world that still has some painfully wonderful and loving moments. Think about childbirth, think about parenting, think about basic training: they all involve pain but for a purpose that never changes. But ultimately, I pray that you find or have someone who will minister to your pain, past and present.

Thank you for reading and spending this time virtually with me. My blessings to you and your family. If you'd like to leave some reflections in the comments below, please do.

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