Defensiveness Fails

Reporting to you in a representation of Real Life:

It might seem like the things that I write are from a place where I'm standing outside of a reality similar (not the same) as you. But, as different as my life is from yours- it is not without a flux of challenge and victory. Thankfully for me, most challenges have become victories. Hallelujah~

Defensiveness Fails

Childlike Belief + Updates

Hi There~

Birthday Highlights...

Uncanny Timing

After the last video I took on the National Day of Prayer...

Unexpected Blessing: Video Update


Just as I was thinking we ran out of funds to send me to finish my undergraduate degree, I got great news. University of Phoenix called to tell me that I was awarded the full scholarship that I applied for. I assumed that my chances of getting the money were slim due to the high number of applications.

Other great news:  
The main thing that attracted me to my husband was his dedication to his boys and his family. Yesterday, he found round trip tickets for under $100 so he can visit his side of the family in California at the end of the month. He wants to be there for his brother who is about to be a first time father any day now. Plus, he will be bringing our Gabriel to spend time with the family too. I'm excited for them to see Gabriel as a little person instead of blob. =)

Uncertain times, or are they?
There was a moment of insecurity about our funds. The kind of insecurity you feel if you don't rest your faith on God's provision. We had spent thousands of dollars to fix our three automobiles. We could afford to be thankful to have 3 paid off cars that we could pay the repair bill without much suffering.

We are planning on selling one of the vehicles and our motorcycle in the coming months to replenish what we spent. But really, if our funds were so prohibitive, and if the circumstances were so tough, we wouldn't have found or bought cheap tickets. And, I wouldn't have received the free scholarship. 

Past actions saved us today:
Ever since we got the windfall of money a few years back, we took care of our "financial house." I was determined not to operate in financial despair any longer. I stashed away money that, not surprisingly, came in handy for those recent repairs. So things are not as bad as they seem.

God was testing my faith and now we are having a full turn around in our life. I feel so blessed. I talked to an old neighbor of ours today and even she attested to how far my husband and I have come in just four years. I attribute it all to God and his faithfulness to us.

We have beaten so many odds. 
We've looked the beast straight in the eyes and didn't flinch. We went THROUGH the storm and now things seem to be doing a full turn around. Things that filled me with fear and anxiety no longer have a grip on me. Many of those things have resolved themselves.

I've learned that hindsight is our gift from God to see how much we have been blessed and cared for by him. Today, I wonder if that family by the Safeway will see my husband (in their hindsight) as blessing them with some spare cash. Though not a "believer," he is repeatedly an instrument of God. He is a very generous guy who wants to do the right thing even if life hasn't been so easy on him. He is such an inspiration to me!

Ultimately, I walk forward in life knowing that I'm under the care of a Powerful, Faithful and Everloving God. The more life comes together for me the more I know I am in line with his will as he promises in the Bible. When we submit to his will and vision for our lives, he will use us for great things. I'm on an amazing ride.

Like I mentioned in the video clip, I'm astounded by your comments and interaction with me. I will continue to scout your businesses and blogs also. Please keep us in your prayers and keep the good karma coming. I am blessed by your readership~ Would you kindly leave a comment about what you like about my blog layout and what I could improve? Thank you!

Happy Cinco De Mayo! Have a strawberry margarita for me! =)

#blessings #besthusbandintheworld #fightingthegoodfight

Unexpected Gift

I noticed a message in the (Other) box of Facebook,

 I was astonished to see who it was from (video)...

Turns out, my old friend was contacting me after four years of estrangement. It was a welcome gift to be in relationship with someone. Despite the time we lost, we are in a better place to have a healthier relationship. I've been exposed to a new subset of people who have given me some insight on how her life must have been and now I can use it in our friendship.

Perhaps God was preparing me to be in contact with her again- so that I could see her with his eyes. I always had a softness towards her knowing she had a rough start in childhood, but now I've talked to people who have been down a similar road enough to have more sympathy for her.

The dynamics have changed in a good way. We have a different basis for our friendship now. I think God chose the right time for us to be friends again since we've grown and matured. It's a gift because I would have assumed that she was still mad at me.

I left things owning my portion of it. Our last conversation was the first conversation that I listened to someone complain about me without getting defensive. I didn't make excuses. I didn't agree with everything she said- but I honored her feelings anyway.

I was hoping that because I handled the conversation well that it would have ended better. But at least it was good enough to keep the door open for us being friends again in the future. This was such a great lesson to me. I was faithful in ending things in the right way and keeping my heart open to her.

God has brought us back together. Perhaps because now I can be better supportive to her. I can tell her that I know how it feels. I can be that open forum for her- as anyone yearns for. And it is good for our children also.

Our kids were the collateral damage of our estranged friendship. They were hurt at the loss of the friendship. They didn't know what happened. Perhaps they assumed it was their fault. To be honest, I took for granted that they cared. But they did. I saw it in my friend's oldest daughter's eyes. It was heartbreaking. I felt like I didn't just let her mother down, but that I let her down as well.

At any rate, things will be different this time. God has fashioned us into better people, with less raw wounds. I have never felt so redeemed. I've never had someone fight for me like that since I was abandoned as a child. It is my sign that God thinks that I'm on the right spiritual track.

Perhaps this is God's practice for me so that I can restore my relationship with my adoptive mother. I left it the same way. I told her that I felt pain for her; that I couldn't imagine not being able to have a child. I told her I'd take care of her when my father dies. And he died last year. I left my heart open to her so that I am ready when she is... when God is ready to do the work in restoring our relationship.

I feel like God is cheering me on in life these days and it feels awesome. I wish this for all of you. I'm not saying that my life is easy or perfect- but it feels like every experience is being used for good. This makes all of life's crap worth while. 

Thank you for reading this personal post. I hope it influenced you in a hopeful and positive way. Keep me in your prayers and send me all the good karma you can spare. If you have your own story of relational redemption or advice to me on the rekindled friendship- please include that in your comments below! Blessings to you~

#humpdayhappenings #friendship

Are you an Enforcer?

Video response to comments on: 

http://according2meredith.blogspot.com/2014/04/wheres-proof.html

en·force  (ĕn-fôrs′, -fōrs′)tr.v. en·forced, en·forc·ing, en·forc·es

1. To compel observance of or obedience to: enforce a law.

2. To impose (a kind of behavior, for example): enforce military discipline.

3. To give force to; reinforce:

Source: freedictionary.com

I give credit to Pastor Jimmy Evans with helping me see areas in my life where I had to allow God to take over the situation and shape me to be the person he designed me to be. God cannot operate in our lives if we are the enforcers. Innocently, well-meaning enough, I used to be an enforcer.

It got me no-where fast. As much as what I stood for was right and honorable, I was going about it the wrong way. The biggest clue that I was going about it the wrong way was the responses I got. God never backed me up when I was the enforcer. God was shaking his head in disapproval every time I was trying to compel a situation. There was no amount of praying that would compel God to back me up in my wrong pattern.

I finally got it through my thick skull to step back. It was hard to do nothing; especially when I felt so strongly about what I had been doing. I felt it to my core that I was doing right. I was even willing to take heat for what I thought was helping the situation.

But once I backed off, God honored my obedience and he stepped in. He brought professionals into our life and circle of influence that echoed what I had been enforcing. Once my husband heard a similar tune on a different channel, he was able to see the merit in the message and not let my ungodliness get in the way.

Now that God is the enforcer, my husband sees me in the correct light: as a person who had keen intuition and loving interest. He takes the advice of the professionals and is now doing what I used to do. Except this time, we're doing it together. We are in full agreement. It feels great. I know we're going to come out on top because we're fighting the good fight!

Thank you for reading through to the end. Extra props to you if you watched my video! I felt lead to share a personal part of my life since a bunch of you shared your prayers. Do you have anything to add to my video or post? Any more Prayers? Please comment below. 

If you think this post would bless anyone else, please share. 

You are the best!