In Your Language

Monday, April 14, 2014

Positive Labeling Proactively

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Send the kids off to school with a Vitamin and Positive Label

Use Labels to your Parenting Advantage.

Concepts: Self Fulfilling Prophecy vs. Cognitive Dissonance


By the Grace of God, I woke up too late that day. I didn't hear my alarm clock and it seemed as if I started the day on the wrong foot.

                                    Until  God gave me his word and spirit to have an amazing start with my son.

[Recently, I was helping him with a storyline project based on Star Wars.  It combined writing with charts and illustrations to help him conceptualize the story and get the main moving points. He was drawn to the idea "fully reborn." Although he reasoned that a person was literally a baby again, I tried to help him understand that this was not a chronological reference, but a  transformational reference as in a caterpillar emerging from a cocoon as a butterfly.]

Despite the bad timing, I went down stairs and did my normal "get breakfast for child and make him lunch" routine. I made sure he had his shoes on and backpack ready to go out the door. But that day, I did some new (God breathed) intentional things that I HAVE done before but not all at one time.
  1. I congratulated him on a great job on his homework. (Setting up his self-concept)
  2. I told him that we have a special relationship. (Setting him up to value my words)
  3. I told him that he's going to have an awesome day. (Setting him up to have a positive day)
 For him to act outside of these three labels, would create cognitive dissonance in HIS brain. His inner self would feel discomfort to act uncharacteristic to the labels. When he acts in accordance to these labels, he will fulfill my prophecy (parent prophecy) and have an added level of self  pride.

We are bombarded with spoken and unspoken messages that we distill into labels throughout the day. The only way to combat those labels is to actively, intentionally, consciously replace them with positive ones. Parents should assume that children cannot do this for themselves until they are in their twenties, developmentally speaking.

Son's teacher reported to me, for the second time this year, that his standardized testing scores have increased by a margin of more than one academic year's (or more!) progress within one semester of middle school. My positive labeling (albeit not always welcomed because they also require action), have paid off for HIM. It was always about him achieving for himself... so he could feel good about himself and redefine himself.

Those labels can be the cocoon to our children. Let's make the cocoons for them! Do you have a similar parenting story? Please share it in the comments below. Many Blessings to you and thank you for reading!

#parentingwithvision #childfulfillingprophecy #positivelabels

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