In Your Language

Monday, April 21, 2014

You skipped a step

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Slow down a second...

take the time to learn...

from this experience...


 Ways we speed through life:

            1. Busyness

                              Sometimes we over-schedule ourselves to where the only way to fit everything 
                              in is to cruise at high speed. 

            2. Default  

                              Life can be so uninteresting or painful that we operate on auto-pilot. I've driven 
                              miles across town forgetting how I got between point A and point B.

            3. Lack of Priorities

                             When we treat everything with equal priority we run the risk of not giving
                             appropriate attention to things that truly matter. Sometimes we take the mentality 
                             of "small stuff" too far.

            4. Fear And Unpleasant Tasks

                             Fear has a way of making us avoid things. Then we do them ridiculously fast so
                             we can get through the discomfort of actually going through with the things that
                             make us face our fears. Unpleasant tasks put us in a similar mental mode of 
                             avoidance until it is no longer feasible to avoid and then we are forced to do those 
                             things haphazardly due to the lost time

But our biggest mistake is moving on too soon...

                             Many times once we finish those undesirable tasks we rush to the more 
                             rewarding ones. I mean-- dopamine is a tyrant! But then we ignore a    
                             great opportunity to reappraise our apprehension about that task. 

Upon finishing, we could try asking ourselves
  • Was that as bad as I expected it to be? 
  • Was there anything that surprised me during that activity?
  • What can I learn from what just happened?"


Unbeknownst to me, my husband had something to do that he was avoiding. He finally admitted to negative arousal around this particular task. But he knew he had to do it. [FAST FORWARD] You'll be happy to hear--- that he survived! =)

Not connected to the story but similar concept

After he was done, I asked him how he think it went. I said "Did it go better than you had expected?" Thankfully, he said it went just fine. I'm guessing he felt like he had psyched himself out over it. If I hadn't asked him that closing question, I wonder if he would have taken the time to reappraise his apprehension. =) I would be curious to see if he would have a different attitude toward this particular task in the future.

Reappraisal and correct attribution can make a world of difference in the way we understand our life. It can also help us to shift our perspective in order to operate with the most success. The way we think about and see things is so very powerful to the subconscious and conscious decisions we make every moment of our lives. 

Have you had a similar experience in your life where things turned out better or different from what you had anticipated? Care to tell us about it when you comment below? Or, can you share your strategies for getting undesireable things checked off your to-do list? Join the conversation! 

Thank you for reading. Many blessings to you~

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