In Your Language

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Love walks away from the situation, not the person...

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Sometimes we need healing space. I'm not talking about abandoning people in their time of need or storming away in anger. There is love in walking away from a situation if it is not productive. "I love you enough that I want to walk away before I hurt or distress you anymore." "I love you enough that I will walk away before you hurt me; I won't let you damage our relationship- it's too important to me." Walk away when you feel the itch to project your feelings on the wrong target.

When you know that the conversation is going in a bad direction. affirm the other person's stance and let it be. Nip those relational free radicals in the bud. Infuse the antioxidants of affirmation, acceptance and love to neutralize and overtake any more damage.

Sometimes the fight is over one side wanting to help and the other side not wanting the help. Sometimes the other person triggers our anger and fears from our history. We then are driven to project those disturbed feelings onto the wrong person (not the perpetrator), onto our loved ones. What a huge casualty to bring the past into our present.

Do yourself a favor: don't overextend yourself and create a toxic expectation out of a close friend or relative. Do the loving thing by not enabling others to do toxic things to themselves or to you.  All it takes is one time for that ugly head of  expectation or entitlement to rear in your relationships. Don't apologize for someone who won't do it for themselves. If you're not a part of their character development, then you are a partner in their demise.

My name is Meredith and I used to overextend myself because I didn't value myself for the person I was designed to be. I always felt like the second choice. I always felt like I had to be better than a biological child, than a biological mother, that I had to prove myself more than another person: all because I didn't see worth in the pure fabric of who God made me. I short changed myself and didn't require enough from those around me to actually cultivate self worth and see value in myself. Shame on me.  But no more! Who's with me? Anyone else want to confess in the comments?

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