I find that (especially in kids) there is this draw towards doing what "everyone else" is doing. We perceive that things aren't "fair" if we don't get or get away with things that other people get away with. But that's an illusion of the Enemy. He knows that it's our perception of "slights" that inhibits us from reaching our God given potential to do His great work in his kingdom.
The illusions that "same" treatment equals "fair treatment". But that is a fallacy based on the assumption that we are ALL THE SAME (?). And God has a way of changing lives so that we are forced to feel and see from someone else's perspective. I never knew how it felt to worry about a child so deeply- to wonder if I did something permanently damaging to my child until I had my son. Perhaps there was nothing that I did wrong, but more of an act of God moving me to see what I was not able to see before.
In this first week being a new mom (again), I've had a huge roller coaster. It seemed like one thing after another was causing me to really worry about my son.. under weight, jaundice, eye infections... I have never worried about my daughter so intensely and in a drawn out fashion. I find myself having a completely new experience with parenting- one that makes me appreciate things that God wanted me to appreciate.
I find myself telling my daughter: "Don't to the right thing only when people are looking or if it feels good to you. Do it to the glory of God. You cannot hide or lie to him." And I tell my older son: "You are not the same people, things are fair in the sense that they are personalized to you as unique children and individuals. I only want 'one' of each kid."
The newest development in family life is that older stepson has been using the word "Mommy" around me/ for me since his baby brother came around. Perhaps he is opening to the idea that "mothers" come in different circumstances and are blessings. Perhaps he sees the duality in the name "mom"; one as a biological role and one as a living role.
So the next time we want to pull the "it's not fair", let's consider if we want to be categorized with that other person or life circumstance. Who do we want to be the "same" as? Let's say you want to be as "musical" as me, would you take my adoptee status too? We should not consider fairness on one dimension. In reality, we are probably much more blessed than we realize.
I guess it was a day to ramble... as days bleed into sleepless nights for me. =)