In Your Language

Friday, June 27, 2014

Assumptions for Better Relationships




You are Safe to Assume that:

  1. People want Help
  2. People would do Better if They Knew a Different Way
  3. People Filter What they Hear
  4. People Don't Prefer to be Alone



1. People want Help
Assume that that person wants help but doesn't want to be judged. Feeling judged is more painful than where they are "right now." Or else, they would have asked for help. Try asking them for help first and they will be more likely to do the same. 
2. People would do Better if They Knew a Different Way
Many people already understand that they don't do things perfectly. They have not been exposed to a better way so far. Otherwise, believe that they would prefer to do it the healthier way. Offer to learn along side of this person. =)
3. People Filter What they Hear
That person didn't internalize what you said verbatim. They processed it through their personal filters that reflect their biases, traumas and fears. The way to get around this is to speak to their fears and dreams. =)

4. People Don't Prefer to be Alone
As the TED speaker said, he considered solitary confinement the most barbaric thing someone could be punished with. The one thing that pushes people into voluntary isolation is when they feel unaccepted within the community. If you have the heart, reach out to these people.

So, from personal experience, those are my four assumptions that you would benefit from using in your day to day interactions with everyone from strangers to your inner circle relationships. We are very much social people who are wired for relationship, togetherness, synchronicity, and reciprocity. Capitalize on those things for a full life.

If you found this post to be valuable, please share. I write mostly from my mistakes and learning experiences. Is there anything you want to contribute to this subject? Please add them in the comment section below. I look forward to responding to you! 

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