Man's Greatest Fear:
to love and not be loved back
I have been forsaken, rejected and devalued.It's okay. Yes, I reeled from the pain. (There is very real pain.) But, do I feel hate? No. I actually feel love for myself. After being rejected by biological and adoptive families, you'd think I'd be left a skeleton of a being...
I loved two families imperfectly without abandon and without comparison. I served. I obeyed. I blessed. I loved fiercely as only I can. Looking back (only briefly), I have no regrets. I have no reservations in my heart. And today, I love my family in residence without holding back even though I was heartbroken catastrophically twice in my life.
If anything, we could strive to give a platinum level of unrequited love to the ones in our inner circle... our family. We are all broken and wounded people. We WILL hurt each other THAT is for certain.
But hopefully, you have a relationship that can stand the test of pain. You can not give up on love externally without giving up on love internally. Don't don't don't give up on yourself. You are so precious of an element that there is no room for you on the periodic table of elements.
It's freeing to know that I am no longer shackled by circumstances outside of myself. To know that I could have easily chosen to be depressed and an addict to drown my misery, and yet I didn't. My desire and my expectation did not make it an obligation for others.
When I stopped making excuses for myself and resisted the urge to shut myself off to others, my life completely changed. I started giving very the things that I know would have unlocked my self-esteem and self love. It is not up to me to decide who gets loved. God says everyone is to be loved-- as a command.
Ultimately, I obey Him.
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38 NIV