In Your Language

Thursday, April 3, 2014

What Does an Adopted Person Look Like?

Do I look adopted?

I hope you're shaking your head. I've even recently gotten back in touch with a person from my hometown who is Caucasian and adopted by a Caucasian couple. I also know a Korean adopted woman who has a Korean mother who adopted her and an African American father. My own biological mother domestically adopted a son. My son in the picture with me is my virtually adopted son. He has a mother, but she is missing in action. I am the only female guardian in his every day life.

And you know what? It doesn't feel any different, at least to me, than any other family I've had or even in comparison to my biological daughter and son. They equally drive me nuts. (tongue in cheek). They get the same imperfect parent- they have equal opportunity to my failures. (weak laugh) But they also get my unique flair to this important role called parenting.

Being adopted is complex BECAUSE it's hard to fathom, for one, and because it's hard to recognize without comparison. Alone, no one could tell that I was abandoned and adopted. But, stand me next to my Caucasian family, and you could see "the one that doesn't belong." You know, that one remedial test for budding students? Except, I do belong- that's what the adoption papers say.

It is so hard to shift so fluidly from being me without the family and being adopted when I'm with the family. I can only imagine how complicated my sons feel around me. But it's that complication that I am so familiar with. If they feel that way, I chalk it up to the fact that it's pretty darn normal... for an adopted person.

It's also hard to be adopted, because usually when people find out- they shift their behavior towards you. Many times they will act sad for you; but what if you're not sad? Or they'll act awkward; but what if you have come to terms with how awkward it can be with parents that were found for you like couples on Match.com?

The tricky part of being adopted is that we only look "that way" when we share it with others. But I just want to assure you, readers- I don't "see" myself as adopted. I see myself as a person who would have had any other issue in life except that it just happens to be adoption/abandonment for me. I have as much or potential as the next person. I can weather life's storms hopefully better than some people who weren't adopted. I am who I am today not because of what happened to me but because of what I made happen in my life, with God helping me.

I wish you all the level of self love and contentment as I have. This life is so fleeting. I have my eyes set on eternity in Heaven. Hopefully, I'll see you there.

Here is my growing playlist offering adoption support to you all, 

parents and children:


Here I am Again

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