Wounds left by separation do not heal on their own.
Time does not regenerate.
Like the flaps of this wound tattoo,
the time wound stays open.
Photo Credit: thekrazybaby.deviantart.com
[I'm not trying to alienate my non-Christian readers by mentioning God. If you're more comfortable, interchange "Higher Power" or your preferred reference to the invisible actor in our lives.]
I think that time is the most precious thing in life. When people entered the rat-race in pursuit of money, they leverage their energy and time (most importantly) towards that end. The time used pursuing money and possession often leads to neglect of relationships that need that time. Time is abstract and yet finite. We cannot manipulate it. It has power over us (aging, apathy).
When someone is abandoned or absent for a time, it leaves a wound of unshared time that cannot be undone. Some people can endure the open would and resume a relationship. Actually, many people do. The wound of lost time is like the elephant in the room that people never want to talk about. Sometimes that elephant symbolizes anger, feelings of rejection or alienation.
Time away isn't always bad. Sometimes time away can be healing especially if the relationship left off really dysfunctional. Sometimes we need to overhaul ourselves before we are equipped to have healthy relationships and healthy shared time. This would be the ideal. The reunion would be about repentance and redeeming the relationship. In marriage terms, this is called a separation (under God's command to rebuild).
But what about those separations where there is no clear understanding of why things are dropping off? I believe that is the reason why time wounds don't heal without God's intervention. It's what we do DURING these separations that determine whether or not the wounds will clear up (but rarely fully). Reunions can be damaging if the old patterns re-emerge. Separation and reunions should be dealt with thoughtfully and tenderly.
The concept of separation from God is so important. If we think of our time on Earth as our separation period with God, then what we do during this time on Earth is significant to who we will be for the rest of eternity. That eternity will be with God in Heaven. I don't want to spend eternity with people who are selfish and unloving; and I don't suspect that He does either.
So let's start using this time well. Let's become versions 2.0, 3.0, 4.0 and so on of ourselves. I want people to remember me by the best version of me and I want to offer that to the people who are already in Heaven and to my Father God. So if you are going to go separate ways for a time, please be careful to work on yourself as you are the only one capable of doing so- with God's help.
I hope this post finds you doing well. I hope you can become content with your lot. Use your wounds as places to work on improving yourself. I work on myself so that I can hopefully make myself more presentable to Him Above. We are not done improving so long as we pursue wisdom and transformation. I see you for who you are going to be. I hope you surround yourself with other people who strive to see you the way I do. And if nothing else, God or the "Higher Power" regards you that way- no matter who you are right now.
[I pray that we might invite God into your minds and hearts so that he may do his great work of healing what we, mere mortals, cannot do on our own. Let us receive this healing as proof of his love. I ask that He infuse in us contentment as we walk the path toward transformation. I pray all of this in his Loving Name. Amen.]