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The spiritual suggestion in my walk with the Lord recently took my tongue by ransom. He showed me that words are my weakness (leads to sin or downfall) and that I must downsize my daily commentary. This came most evident to me when in a situation I would have just gone through the motions of "let's talk it out"; then having it progress to more misunderstanding or defensiveness; as a long journey to coming back to copacetic. The Lord moved me to hold my tongue and deal with it inside myself and with Him.
There was nothing to take back. There was no foot in mouth. There was no bringing up "dirty laundry." There was no at odds conversation to add to the at odds event. And the "air" settled a lot more readily than if I had done the usual talking. It didn't take long for me to see that the root of the scenario was that one or more of us were tired, hungry, or bothered by other things that just happened to be triggered by that particular interaction.
I felt a huge sigh of relief. There was one less nail in my relational coffin. I felt one more neuron closer to spiritual wisdom. It felt so unnatural to me- that I knew I was doing the right thing. I felt obedient to something other than my self. I felt like I sowed a seed of trust and grace by omitting well-meaning words in favor of growing positive relational energy. I made something positive out of something that could have been more tense.
The knowledge that we all come from histories that have many dysfunctional relational behaviors, we must lean toward the healthy unknown rather than make excuses for our iniquities. I have never seen my parents have a "good fight" or witnessed either of them having "good conflict resolution" skills. Sometimes just knowing that what we are used to is not good (to put it nicely) calls us to reach, dare I say- seek, the unknown.
I feel (as the Bible says not to sin in my anger), that my anger can be turned into something healthy if I deal with it within myself and between me and God. As long as my anger is followed by loving service (also the call of God), then I should be a peace with my anger and I will learn to trust my ability to deal with upsetting things in a healthy way. It is God's higher plan to shift potentially hazardous relational situations toward win-win prospects.
I am determined to be successful in my relationships by being teachable to the Wise One, my God. I am so thankful that I don't have to learn on my own.
Blessings to all God's people...
[Originally Posted: 8/27/13. Edited: 4/7/14]